Borrow My List: The 3 Best Questions to Ask in the First 100 Hours of Breastfeeding

It's too easy to get lost in the weeds...

These questions evolved out of my never-ending quest to get the best stories out of my lactation clients.

I need to know what they really think about what’s happening on their breastfeeding journey - and what they really need from me! - in order to help them. 

I’ve always been fascinated by how many ways there are to make breastfeeding and lactation work.

Each mother seems to feel more successful when they find what works for them and their baby.

And WE get to guide them by providing the credible, practical information they need.

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That’s the theme of my book, Evolving the Modern Breastfeeding Experience: Holistic Lactation Support in the First 100 Hours.

I see people - clients, health care providers, and even lactation support providers - become hyper-focused on the wrong aspects of early lactation ALL THE TIME.

There’s a very simple and straightforward way to assess “how breastfeeding is going,” and it starts with using a different type of question.

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Questions for Exclusively Breastfeeding Parents

1 - Instead of asking “How often does your baby feed?”, try this:

“How do you know when your baby needs to go to the breast?”

Encourage your client to share with you the basic timeline of their baby’s feedings. This shows you what they know about how babies cue to go to the breast and gives you the opportunity to reinforce their education about newborn cues and why babies go to the breast.

2 - Instead of asking “How long does your baby usually feed?”, try this:

“How can you tell when your baby is finished and doesn’t need to be at the breast anymore?”

Encourage your client to share their own observations of how their baby behaves at the breast and talk about what they have heard about how long babies “should” feed.

3 - Instead of asking “How is breastfeeding going for you?”, try this:

“How do your breasts feel?”

Asking how the breasts feel takes the focus off the volume of milk the baby is getting and places it on the act of breastfeeding, allowing a better insight into the technique additional needs, and general progress of the dyad as a whole.

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Questions for Exclusively Expressing/Pumping Parents

1 - Instead of asking “How often are you pumping?”, try this:

Tell me about the last time you pumped.

Encourage your client to think about the actual times of the last few milk expression sessions, giving you a sense of how they are timing them and fitting them into their routine and whether they are using hand expression or pumping or a combination of both.

2 - Instead of asking “How long do you usually hand express or pump?”, try this:

How long does it take to get all the milk out when you hand express or pump?

Emphasize the act of milk expression rather than milk volume; allow for more information to flow about milk expression technique and overall milk production.

3 - Instead of asking “How much milk are you getting out?”, try this:

How do your breasts feel after expressing milk?

Asking how it feels takes the focus of the volume of milk and places it on the act of milk expression, allowing you a better insight into the technique, additional needs, and general progress with milk production and feeding the baby.

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The general idea of these modified questions is to ensure that our clients hear that we care about how they feel, what they have learned about their baby and their body, and that we want to hear the whole story of how breastfeeding is going for them.

We can encourage them to tell us what’s important to them and what they need from us by asking smart questions and listening.

The best way to tailor our lactation information to the client’s needs is to assess what the client needs in their particular situation.

That’s what makes a personal lactation consultation different from - and better than - the client simply typing their question into a search engine or AI.

We want them to be able to trust that we are giving them real suggestions that are based on their needs. We aren’t going to waste their time with a lot of advice that doesn’t work or information they don’t need.

Our knowledge is valuable and helpful for people who want to breastfeed and feed their baby their own milk.

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If you work in a hospital or birth setting, then you can see how this book is going to be helpful for you.

This book also feeds and nurtures those who work with breastfeeding families AFTER the first 100 hours. 

Here’s what I know:

Effective early lactation care requires the ability to remain focused on what CAN be affected or improved in the moment, what is normal, and what will need to be addressed going forward.

As always, thank you for everything you do for babies and their parents!