Oxygen masks and oxytocin

Mental Health and the Lactation Care Provider

You’ve probably already read a lot about maternal mental health this month.

It’s a crucial piece of the work we do.

But I don’t write about that.

I write about YOU.

Your work in lactation care can put your mental health at risk as well.

What we do falls under the large umbrella of “care work.” It’s well-accepted that all care work is emotionally challenging and has short- and long-term costs.

But then….there’s a slightly separate part of lactation work.

You know how sometimes we talk about how “controversial” discussion of breastfeeding can be, and people say well, it’s an intimate thing, so it’s different from many other types of baby and child care that involve choice.

Yes. Exactly. It’s intimate, and it’s vulnerable.

When we sit with a newly postpartum client and listen to their birth story and their lactation journey to this point, what we hear can be unbelievable, upsetting, miraculous, joyous, frustrating, overwhelming, unexpected.

I believe it is fair to say that birth and lactation work are separately and extraordinarily challenging to our mental health.

We learn very early on how to mask our reactions in the moment; it is culturally accepted as a signal of our professionalism.

We learn to use comforting body language to communicate how we are listening and empathizing, even when we are raging inside at what we have heard from the client.

We want to help them connect with their baby, often through the acts of skin-to-skin and breastfeeding, so that they can increase their oxytocin levels and navigate the stresses of new motherhood.

We are often sitting with people who are describing what we recognize as trauma, knowing that they do not -and cannot - yet see that it will follow them.

Our most visceral reactions to our clients’ words need to be stored away for a bit so that we can help them with the task at hand.

But those reactions and emotions do not disappear.

They are still here within us.

When we are in harmony with ourselves, living a life that supports our own needs, loved by others, generating and expelling energy regularly through movement, nourishing ourselves with the macro- and micronutrients our bodies need, feeding our souls with nature and spirituality, experiencing gratitude and connection - only then can we manage, process, and properly store what we have learned from our clients and their words and stories.

It’s easy to see how when we are just not ok, the rawest parts of the work we do can stay with us in ways that are not healthy.

Another reality of lactation work is not often discussed, but it can be very discouraging.

We are not always welcomed in the spaces where we show up to work, and even more frequently, our training and expertise are not understood or well-known.

It feels like an uphill battle to educate the public and our healthcare colleagues about what we do, and today we also work against a constant stream of misinformation online.

The misinformation is not only about breastfeeding and human lactation, but about US.

Anti-lactation care provider sentiment can be very damaging to the work we do; I wrote about that here.

It can also be very, very personal. The vast majority of lactation care providers are admittedly passionate and enthusiastic about breastfeeding and lactation, so the negativity can spill over and feel directed at us.

I can imagine that it seems from the outside as if anyone in a healthcare or medical setting would be thrilled to have lactation care providers around to help their patients and clients with this important part of caring for a new baby.

In reality, many of us find that this is not the case.

I’ve personally dealt with outright hostility and disrespect from hospital colleagues in the past.

We’ve all found ourselves trying to explain our training and certifications when we should be able to spend our time actually helping people with lactation.

When people misunderstand your background and preparation or misread your intentions, it can wear you down and make you feel as if you are not making the difference in the world that you really want to make.

On top of it all, as you progress through your career and your personal life, your energy will shift around based on what’s happening around you.

Sometimes things will be going really well for you, while other times will be rockier.

Your loved ones will need different things from you at different times, making your available work energy an unpredictable variable.

Find ways to even things out. Identify the practices and behaviors that make all of it easier to navigate.

Learn what works in your life to increase YOUR oxytocin levels.

It is cliché by now, but you actually do have to put on your own oxygen mask first in order to help others with theirs.

The term “self-care” has been fully co-opted by greed and corporate interests who want to sell you products, but I challenge you to find ways to care for yourself that don’t start with buying stuff.

Music, laughter, outdoor activities, religion, art, gardening, playing with your pets, martial arts, dancing, cooking, camping, reading, telling stories with your loved ones - figure out what you need to do that makes you stronger so that you’ve got what you need to take care of your clients.

*If what you need to do involves caring for your own mental health or processing past trauma by working with a mental health professional, do not wait any longer. Get started today.*

Connect with the rest of us out here doing lactation work and birth work.

We’re all having the same challenges and struggles as you, even if the details are different.

We are all human, and this field of care work is filled with wonderful people doing amazing work. To keep it that way, we need to be ok with asking for what we need, setting the boundaries that make us strong, and sharing with each other.

P.S. And by the way, if you’re a lactation worker or a birth worker (or both) AND also a parent, especially if you are pregnant or parenting young babies & children right now, please take extra special care of your mental health. Stay strong and healthy for them because you never know when they are going to need more of you than they even needed today.

You already know this: the first days of breastfeeding are the most critical time for so many reasons.

Do you agree with this? We could be doing a MUCH better job of facilitating exclusive breastfeeding and human milk feeding in the first 100 hours of a baby’s life.

Have you read this? I’ve written a book about how we can make it happen for so many more new families.

||Click below to get a copy for your Summer Lactation Reading stack||